Let us start with understanding what maladaptive daydreaming is.
Dreaming in the daytime with eyes open is considered normal as long as it is done for short pleasure, especially after being exhausted at work or in idle hours. It is found healthy to rely upon those the daytime dreams to relax our mind (Daydreaming).
Maladaptive daydreaming is when one indulges in daydreaming in an addictive way. It is when these dreams are much extended with long stories. There are possibilities that the plot of these stories could be a movie watched lately, any event that happened around, some daily life experience etc., or some unfulfilled desire. That person tries plotting the same event in his dreams again and again whenever he gets the chance and sometimes finds these dreams so rewarding that he takes time out from his busy schedule to dream. Because of this, maladaptive daydreaming treatment is not a simple fix.
It becomes unavoidable when, due to this condition, a person’s performance in daily life starts reducing. Performance at school, college, jobs, relationships, social life, etc., is hampered as that person shows dissociation from the outer world for a long span of time.
Maladaptive daydreamers often indulge in these dreams at very crucial times. For instance, while driving, while in a group talk, in exams, etc. Some of them have become so adaptive that they can drive and dream simultaneously for much longer time spans. Which is, by and by, not admirable but fatal.
In most cases, it is not like the person enjoys dreaming, but it is more like he/she is not able to control it. They do not even realize when a daydream started in the first place and might not recall what triggered it.
How to Diagnose
This term was coined by the clinical psychologist Eli Somer from the University of Haifa, Israel, in 2002. After that, it got much attention from people on the internet. He considered it in the neurosis category, not in psychosis.
Even though it is a widespread phenomenon, it has not yet been recognized by the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
Experts created a list of 14 signs (MDS-14) in 2015 to scrutinize the daydreaming patterns. Finding a resemblance with more signs can give an idea of the person’s current condition.
Some symptoms
Instead of having a formal MDS-14 diagnostic list, maladaptive daydreaming is often understood as being related to other mental health conditions. There are some symptoms that have been gathered by interviewing people with this condition and based on the MDS-14 list.
- Uncontrollable strong urge to dream seamlessly.
- Doing it for much longer time spans, going up to half an hour to one hour or more.
- Playing a character in the dream.
- Trouble focusing on daily tasks as daydreams start from nowhere.
- Some people experience trouble when sleeping.
- Having real physical (mostly facial) movements while dreaming.
- Trying to overcome it, but facing failure every time.
- Having feelings of guilt and shame after doing so.
This should not be misinterpreted as hallucination or schizophrenia. Because, unlike these mental illnesses, people with maladaptive daydreaming are aware of the difference between reality vs. dreams. The inability to control the desire to ruminate is the only explanation.
Causes
1. Unfulfilled Desires:
This is not a simple concept to understand—it is complex and multifaceted. Maladaptive daydreaming often serves a purpose by fulfilling unmet emotional or psychological needs. These needs could be
- escape from stress, loneliness, trauma, or boredom.
- emotional regulation (comfort, excitement, control).
- unmet creative or relational needs.
Because of this layering how to stop maladaptive daydreaming becomes harder to untangle.
2. Other mental health conditions:
Most of the causes, according to experts, find analogy with the other mental health conditions like ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety disorders, overthinking, etc.
In research it has been found that ranging from 50 to 80 percent of people who were experiencing other mental health conditions also had maladaptive daydreaming.
3. Focus:
People who find it hard to cope with daily life situations due to lack of focus, enthusiasm, etc., are more prone to this condition. It becomes a way to dodge the problems at twelve o’clock.
4. Traumas:
It is commonly found in childhood, especially in those who had traumatic experiences.
There may be some traumatic encounters in our lives. Children find it hard to share it with others, even with parents and siblings. If these traumas aren’t discussed and sorted out timely and instead stay within the person or child, they lead to serious psychological distress.
How to stop Maladaptive Daydreaming
1. Understanding the main cause of why intense daydreaming occurs:
As told earlier in the article, finding the actual reasons behind it is not duck soup.
Try carefully and nicely noticing—
- Timings and situations when this happens the most.
- What feelings and emotions do you have before and after intense daydreaming occurs?
- Which kind of fantasies and dreams give you real-life pleasures that are not right now?
Do not do this for judging yourself, but to map the pattern. Monitoring triggers will help in stopping a person whenever he starts dreaming unnecessarily when other tasks are more important.
2. Addressing Underlying Mental Health Conditions:
Try to find out if you have any other mental health conditions. If you have any, then try to find out whether it is the main cause behind maladaptive daydreaming. Treating other mental health conditions (if any exist, like anxiety disorder, depression, ADHD, OCD, or any trauma-related issues) can significantly reduce daydreaming intensity and frequency.
3. Working on triggers:
By going cold turkey and trying to stop daydreaming straight away usually backfires. So, instead of total avoidance, try limiting high-trigger activities when you need to focus on a certain task.
Some common triggers:
- Unstructured working hours + boredom
- Lying in bed, taking long showers, pacing
- Music (especially emotional or repetitive tracks)
- Specific emotions (loneliness, stress, denial)
How to work them out:
- Break tasks into small, timed steps. Schedule breaks intentionally.
- Shift from the ‘pacing loop’ to seated or grounded activities that calm the nervous system. Avoid unnecessary lying in bed.
- Reduce music time or switch to instrumental/positive music.
- Addressing emotional triggers is very important. Try finding out which emotional need is often fulfilled by maladaptive daydreaming. Is it escape, safety, control, validation, etc.?
You can stop intense daydreaming and ask from your inner self:
a) From what is my mind trying to protect me right now?
b) Which feeling is my mind trying to escape right now?
4. Mindfulness and grounding techniques:
Regularly practicing mindfulness meditation and grounding techniques helps in bringing attention back to the present moment. Grounding techniques like 5-4-3-2-1 can do a fantastic job in rehabilitating from maladaptive daydreaming.
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique involves:
- Identifying 5 things you can see
- Identifying 4 things you can feel
- Identifying 3 things you can hear
- Identifying 2 things you can smell
- Identifying 1 thing you can taste
Other than that, deep breathing or physical grounding (feet on the floor, holding an object) are also some better techniques.
5. Schedule intentional daydreaming time:
Daydreaming on purpose, on a prescheduled topic or fantasy, and in a very playful way can reduce the constant urge to do it over and over again.
- First of all, decide a motive, whether you are doing it to solve a problem or to relax. Do not go for any escapist fantasies.
- Decide on a time limit. Set a timer (crucial).
- Once the timer hits zero, you stop, even if you’re tempted to dig deeper. Ground yourself immediately.
- According to your choice, you can write about the daydream. This helps the brain in understanding the loop.
Remember, “Intentional daydreaming is for serving your real world, whereas maladaptive daydreaming replaces it.”
6. Journaling and Self-Awareness:
Journaling helps in organizing thoughts, processing emotions, and eventually increasing self-awareness. By putting our confusions and emotions into words, we can gain a clearer perspective. It supports mental health by tracking patterns and creating a safe space for self-expression. Over time, journaling can boost focus and personal growth.
7. Be patient and compassionate with yourself:
Maladaptive daydreaming habits do not start overnight. No doubt it takes months or years to develop this condition. So, surely it will not diminish overnight as well.
It is not easy to find out the actual cause of how it all began in the first place. It may have started without your full concern, maybe as the aftereffects of other mental health conditions. So, stop judging yourself and rather become more acceptable and compassionate towards yourself.
8. Psychotherapy:
Meeting a doctor is also advisable if things have gone out of control. If one tries but feels trapped again and again, it is certainly a time to meet a doctor.
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) sessions with a trained therapist can be useful in understanding the triggers that lead to excessive daydreaming and challenge unhelpful thought patterns. It is considered the best approach by therapists as maladaptive daydreaming treatment.
In Contrast
People who are struggling with maladaptive daydreaming have to lose lots of time and mental energy in managing to control/stop these dreams. It becomes frustrating and heartbreaking living with the guilt of not being able to control it. Long-time guilt becomes heavier with time.
If you are struggling with any condition or disease, then leaving everything to medication or a doctor is not wise at all. Alongside medication and doctors, learning and gaining knowledge about the condition is a far better way to cure oneself.
Dreams with open eyes are good if they help in gaining an idea to solve a problem. But if they become a threat to our mental health and social life, it is better we stop trying to do more than we can handle. Avoid trading the truth for a comfortable fiction.
After reading multiple articles on maladaptive daydreaming and casual daydreaming, you must have a clear idea of the difference between the two. If so, start planning to get out of it right now.